Maybe You Don’t Need Therapy
In every measurable aspect, the mental health of American youth is astonishingly worse than in any previous generation. Suicide rates are up, the use of drugs and other substances is record-breakingly high, and more of our youth are reporting mental health issues AND seeking constant help for them. Are we indeed in the wake of an apocalypse, or are social media and modern therapy methods to blame for the extensive problems of America's youth?
RECORD-BREAKING STATISTICS
Since 2002, the share of Americans getting mental-health care has grown by 1/3rd; the share of those reporting "excellent" mental health has fallen by nearly as much.
Regarding teens and young adults, a 2019 study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology between 2009 and 2017 found that depression rates increased more than:
47% among adolescents 12–13 years old
60% among teens 14–17 years old
46% among young adults 18–21 years old
Gen Zs are aware of the struggle, too. A 2018 survey of teens 13–17 years old reports that 70% of respondents see anxiety and depression as a “major problem” among their peers.
This pahples me. Playing professional tennis allowed me to travel from a young age. I have seen much of the world and experienced different cultures, people, and socio-economical systems. The United States is one of the countries that offers the most opportunities, military safety, and quality of life. So what’s happening to the youth in a place that has not seen war on its soil, widespread malnourishment of its population, or catastrophic natural phenomena? What could be so bad that the new generation is hiding away, too scared to live?
The data showed that in 2021, According to NAMI, 28% of teens have received mental health treatment of some kind, or about 8 million teens each year.
Between 2009 and 2019, feelings of sadness and hopelessness for high schoolers increased by about 40%.
The leading causes of depression and anxiety listed were:
stress over climate change
worry over rising suicide rates
worry over the rise of sexual assault reports
stress over immigrant lives
Ok…
IT SPREADS LIKE A VIRUS
Here’s an unpopular opinion: maybe you are not depressed or have anxiety. Perhaps you have been affected by the ‘viral’ aspect of it by social media, by your peers, by your teachers, parents, and most importantly, by the modern therapy techniques that let anyone sit, ponder, and revel in some mental health issues. ‘Curing’ it with talking, drugs, and endless prioritization of this thing.
Listen. I want to make one thing very clear. Mental health issues and available care for them must be prioritized in society. There are legitimate concerns many people have to deal with, and I genuinely hope they can get appropriate care. But are we really at a point where 2/3 of our youth in a first-world country live with depression and anxiety, or has it been blown out of proportion?
It is not the fault of the youth but the facilitating culture around them.
SOME PERSPECTIVE
I help run two NGOs for vulnerable youth in Uganda and Chile. I have traveled to many developing countries and seen how children and local youth live there and the problems they face. And I work in anti-trafficking. Trust me, I have seen what trauma, socioeconomic conditions, war, and other atrocities can do to someone's mental health. Our world is fantastic and beautiful, but many lives hold a lot of darkness. I don’t know why some people are destined to be born into a slum in Uganda and end up sorting through trash for their first meal that week or end up kidnapped by a rebel group into slavery as a child bride or a child soldier. Why are some kids born into wealthy families with Ivy League futures in Malibu or into a tribe living off the land deep in Siberia? The world is an incredibly fascinating place. We can’t control most of that. But you can control your own life.
Where were you born? Did you have access to food? Were you provided a safe place to grow up by at least one parent? Did you have access to education? Do you have hobbies? Did you play sports? Did you go to the cinema on your day off? Did you have a chance to get a job in a movie theater, etc., to earn some money? Have you had tutors for SATs? Do you have a college fund to study anything you want that your parents started when you were born? Did you get a car for your 16th birthday?
You know where I’m going with this. I am not taking away anyone's pain or experiences. We all have them—no matter our background. But is it cause for therapy, medication, constant angst, and underachieving?
I lived in a car for a while in my youth, and I grew up without electricity at some point. But I have never felt depressed or anxious about that. I had food on the table, two parents who cared for me, a dog, friends to play with outside, I went to school, and most importantly, I had my tennis practices, a dream to achieve something— a purpose.
We all have our backgrounds. All that matters is how we take care of ourselves and our future. We need the strength to make a sound, fulfilling life for ourselves. And being born in the United States…there are no excuses not to do that.
THE PROBLEM
During a 2021 study of Gen Z adolescents aged 10–17, researchers found a relationship between problematic social media use (PSMU) and:
challenges with impulse control
difficulties with goal-oriented behavior
procrastination
stress
Overuse of therapy can have serious side effects, like alienation from your spouse, alienation from parents, worsening of depression, worsening of anxiety, feeling of incapacity, and feeling like you can't do things without consulting your therapist.
Let’s get even more specific:
According to a new survey commissioned by Cash App Taxes, over half (54%) of Gen Zers report that the stress of filing taxes has brought them to tears. There is even a thing called ‘menu anxiety’ where young people are too scared to eat out and try to avoid the anxiety that talking to a waiter can cause them.
Do we really need to see a therapist because we don’t know how to talk to someone or don’t want to do our taxes?
Complex tasks, losing, failing, getting rejected, managing our time for school work, and stressing over our relationships with our friends, parents, or romantic adventures…. are extremely important for development. Hardships strengthen us and teach us tools to cope with problems and find solutions. They are not a cause for therapy and concern at a young age. And yet, Gen Zs are more likely than previous generations to seek help for their depression, stress, and anxiety—more than ever before.
How have we ended up with a society where young people have made themselves sick with worry over the planet without realizing that they ARE the future of our world? The earth needs a competent, capable new generation to take care of it, not one crippled with fear and a lack of personal and collective achievements.
Or that the people worrying about immigrants are much more depressed and anxious than the actual immigrants themselves. Those who have overcome extreme adversity still feel incredibly fortunate to live in the United States, work hard, educate their kids, and build a better future.
In the United States, everyone is encouraged to sit and revel and talk about these issues as if they were life and death. I would encourage you to read Abigail Shrier's new book, "Bad Therapy: Why The Kids Aren’t Growing Up.”
She explains the dark side of overprescribing therapy to everyone.
Drawing on hundreds of interviews with child psychologists, parents, teachers, and young people, Shrier explores the ways the mental health industry has transformed the way we teach, treat, discipline, and even talk to our kids. She reveals that most therapeutic approaches have serious side effects and few proven benefits. Among her unsettling findings:
Talk therapy can induce rumination, trapping children in cycles of anxiety and depression
Social Emotional Learning handicaps our most vulnerable children in both public schools and private
“Gentle parenting” can encourage emotional turbulence – even violence – in children as they lash out, desperate for an adult in charge
The overuse of therapy is backfiring. A study conducted in Australia found that a mental health protection treatment based on Dialectical Behavior Therapy, known as WISE Teens, was ineffective in helping high school students improve their emotional well-being and interpersonal relationships. The group that underwent this program experienced deteriorating mental health indicators immediately following the intervention, as opposed to the control group.
THE SOLUTION
Photo by Stephanie Greene on Unsplash
(If you are dealing with a severe mental health problem that stems from a chemical imbalance of the brain, or if you are dealing with eating disorders, have experienced severe trauma, are fearful for your own life, or have suicidal thoughts, please find immediate help. I will link some important numbers below. Everyone else…keep reading.)
Try these things instead of therapy or drugs.
Don’t make ‘depressed’ and ‘anxious’ your whole personality. You are not those things. You are so much more.
Understand that no matter the problems you face daily, they are mostly only yours. Nobody else will respect you more because of them, understand you better, or want to give you attention and love.
It will just hurt the people around you, as they will worry for you. Take care of yourself. Become something people will respect, love, and understand.
According to Abigail Shrier, sitting in your problems is the wrong way to tackle them. If a child soils their pants, sitting in them and contemplating why it happened to her, it does not help the situation. Change the pants and keep going.
Get active. According to science, even running errands is good for our mental health—the feeling of completing a task or getting things done. Get up at a reasonable time, have a plan for the day, manage your time well, and make your bed. Go for a walk and listen to a podcast, an audiobook, or stand-up. Learn, relax, and laugh while moving your body.
Have a problem? You can try to find a solution instead of thinking about the issue.
For example:
Don’t like your body image?
Eat better, find a workout routine you can stick with, and motivate yourself with the results you yearn for. Get a haircut, find new clothes, experiment with makeup, and love the beautiful things about yourself. You have them!
Don’t have any money?
The United States is full of ‘Hiring’ signs. Find a job or monetize a skill you have. I gave tennis lessons. You will feel proud of yourself. It is better to work at McDonald’s and earn money than to sit at home and be anxious about not having any.
Do you have too much homework?
Well, it is a privilege to be able to attend school. If there’s a lot of homework, they want you to learn a lot. That’s a good thing. Manage your time better. The chances are, you don’t need to do much else right now than study. It is your primary job as a young person. Just do your job. We all do.
You don’t have enough friends?
First, most friendships formed in middle school, high school, and even university won’t last. Maybe a couple will, and those are the only ones that matter. You can also try to join groups with like-minded people. Do you like to work out? Find a gym or running, hiking, etc. group. Do you like gaming? Join a gaming group. Do you want to become an actress? Join your local theater. Are you into D&D? Then find your people!
Concentrate on tasks and goals for your future instead of the wrong things in your life. My coach didn’t ask me how I felt about not having electricity at home. He taught me how to hit a winning forehand. We spent time learning how to run faster, play better, and win matches, not learning about my feelings about the electric bills. If you have adversities, put them aside for the tasks you must perform for your future. Study for that math test, kill at the recital, win at the science fair, write poems or short stories, study for the SATs, or run your fastest mile yet. People who experience some adversity are prone to being more successful later in life.
The more we talk about feelings, daily problems, and issues in our lives, the more we treat nearly two-thirds of America's youth as weak, incompetent, and victims. According to Shrier, we spend so much time worrying about trying to make our kids happy that we don't spend enough time trying to make them strong. And you know what? We've made them neither.
Just think about it: Would you rather be someone who’s pitied, constantly fussed over, and who worries the people around you, or would you instead build your future, enjoy your youth, and take advantage of the privileges that any American has? Your attitude towards yourself and the way you live is your own choice. I would encourage you to choose the second option and work towards that with achievable goals and incredible future achievements.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
American Psychology Association Crisis Hotline and Resources: https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines
