How to Get Some of That…Willpower
The American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America Survey asked, among other things, about participants’ abilities to make healthy lifestyle changes. Survey participants regularly cite lack of willpower as the No. 1 reason for not following such changes.
WHAT IS WILLPOWER
Professor Walter Mischel, based at Columbia University, New York, was one of the first psychologists to study willpower. He defines it as “just a matter of learning how to control your attention and thoughts.” In other words, your rational brain can overcome your impulsive, emotional brain. Both are involved in decision-making, but the strength of our willpower determines our actions.
For example, you may aim to run or train in the gym that day. But after a long school or work day, your mind whispers, I’m tired; go home, or couch, couch, couch! That’s when we need willpower to make the more complex decision to go for a run or to the gym, to push ourselves to reach our goals and achieve a feeling of self-worth.
At its essence, willpower is resisting short-term temptations to meet long-term goals. And there are good reasons to do so. University of Pennsylvania psychologists Angela Duckworth, PhD, and Martin Seligman, PhD, explored self-control in eighth-graders over the school year. The researchers first gauged the students’ self-discipline (their term for self-control) by having teachers, parents, and the students complete questionnaires. They also gave students a task in which they could receive $1 immediately or wait a week to receive $2.
They found students who ranked high on self-discipline had better grades, better school attendance, and higher standardized test scores and were more likely to be admitted to a competitive high school program. Self-discipline, the researchers found, was more important than IQ in predicting academic success.
Defining willpower in our everyday actions
We have many common names for willpower: determination, drive, resolve, self-discipline, self-control. But psychologists characterize willpower, or self-control, in more specific ways. According to most psychological scientists, willpower can be defined as:
The ability to delay gratification, resisting short-term temptations to meet long-term goals
The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling, or impulse
The ability to employ a “cool” cognitive system of behavior rather than a “hot” emotional system
Conscious, effortful regulation of the self by the self
A limited resource capable of being depleted
SO, HOW TO GAIN WILLPOWER (and Win at Life)
Having a superpower has nothing to do with the ability to fly or jump or superhuman strength. The truest superpowers are the ones we all possess: willpower, integrity, and, most importantly, courage.
According to psychological research, it is important to understand that your willpower is like a muscle. We have a limited supply of willpower each day. And using your willpower in one area of your life diminishes your reserve of willpower for other regions. But the good news is that we can train our willpower like any other muscle in our body- with persistence and regular activity. Each hard decision will make it easier to make more good decisions in the future. For example, if you want to lose weight and choose not to buy a donut, you train your willpower every time you pass a bakery or grab that cookie off the counter.
HOWEVER… Willpower is not a magical cure for all.
Humans are prone to weaknesses, self-indulgence, and comfort. And honestly, sometimes we need to give in to our mental health. But to change our bad habits and reach our goals, willpower must be trained. As a former athlete, I know what it means to suffer through strenuous training, to sacrifice time away from loved ones, and to push that willpower. And you know what I realized: willpower develops more efficiently and is more sustainable when we have clear end goals in mind.
Here is the formula for winning at life:
Specific want (goal) = Consistent training of willpower = Sustainable good habits
Taking that cookie on the counter example from before, it is much easier to shove that cookie in your mouth if you think, ou that’s probably not the healthiest food, and I shouldn’t eat it. Or look at your waist and think that maybe you have had enough cookies. You will eat that cookie with these thoughts because it will become a bandage for the negative thoughts.
HOWEVER, if you have a clear goal in mind, then you might not even notice that cookie because you’re so busy kicking ass for yourself. Maybe you have a particular pair of jeans you want to fit into again, or perhaps you want to make the varsity team and diet is essential for performance, or maybe you are competing in a bikini fitness competition and are visualizing those fantastic poses.
Without a clear goal, two things will happen:
You won’t have a reason to deter those sticky temptations that create bad habits
You haven’t committed to anything and have not created an environment to use willpower effectively
That’s why the Stress Study mentioned above revealed that the number 1 reason why people listed the lack of willpower to change their life is because they didn’t know how exactly they wanted to change it. To what?
TO BEGIN… FIND YOUR WHY!
“The only way to get everything you want in life is to be very clever about what you want.”
― George Hammond
Goal: Get into your dream college
Action pushed by willpower: Study, research extracurricular projects, and use your teenage years to build that foundation to use that dream college to its full advantage.
Goal: Become a professional singer
Actions pushed by willpower: take singing lessons, manage your time between school and practice, research and learn new ways of how the industry works and what's expected of you, find out about programs and workshops that can enhance your skills, etc.
Goal: earn money even when in school.
Actions pushed by willpower: find a job or use a skill to earn money, learn to manage your time well between school and work, and save most of your salary to invest it into your future.
Goal: Start a business
Actions pushed by willpower: develop a solution to provide your customers with value, research how to start a business, raise resources, learn skills to effectively manage your time, and create a valuable business. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and can help you grow.
Goal: Get fit/ lose weight
Actions pushed by willpower: mark the starting point of where you are now, research different diet and training plans and stick to one you chose, move more every day (go for walks, play sports with your friends, volunteer in sporting events), create a sustainable routine and give yourself at least two whole months without expecting crazy results.
I could go on forever, but you get the point. Once you have found your why, willpower will help you nudge forward. Most likely, you will want it so badly that you create effective habits and a sustainable routine to achieve it.
COMMIT! Enjoy the hustle and the magical lightness of achieving something for yourself, and push past those short-term distractions to build a solid platform for your future. Nobody will care about the party you went to, the calories you consumed, or the series you binged on, but you will care about the health, achievements, and respect you earned.
