The Curse of Friends (and parties)
You will see most of your high school friends last time at your graduation.
Friends, parties, and crushes are great, but…so is a solid foundation you built in your teens to spring you into an awesome future.
Photo by Clayton Cardinalli on Unsplash
THE TRUTH ABOUT FRIENDS AND PARTIES
When we are young, our friends are our whole world. It doesn’t matter if we have them or if we want more of them. We obsess who gets invited where, who’s dating whom, or who’s spreading that gossip about someone. But I’ll let you in on a little secret…it does not matter. Very soon, none of that will bear much weight on your life.
When I was fifteen, I got to travel the world. I spend almost every week in a new city playing international tennis tournaments. I got to experience Paris in the spring, the soft sand of Miami beaches in winter, and the unique creatures in the jungles in Brazil. Sounds insane right! Wrong. Most of the time I sneered at my dad (who just happened to be also my coach), and begged to go home early to attend a party my friends were throwing. Too often I didn’t recognize what a win or a loss on a ten court might mean for my future. I worried that the guy I liked would forget about me.
Looking back now…I screwed up. Each time I acted out back then, must have broken a piece of dads heart. All the sacrifice he made for me to be able to go and play. Every ball I hit in those 6 hour practices was a piece I needed for a successful future. My dad got it. He constantly asked why I wanted to be a ‘normal girl’, if I have a chance to do something extraordinary. I hated him for that then, but now I can’t believe how lucky I was to have someone push me when I didn’t understand what life will be after high school. And yes, there is one!
Few friends might stay forever, no matter if you move across the world or live next door. My best friend lives oceans away from me, but I feel her next to me always.
But the rest…they will fade away like fog at dawn. The party at the quaterbacks’s house, or the guy who dm you in insta and everyone wants….they disappear like Houdini. Just like our priorities when the ugly hand of beer pressure grabs a hold of us.
Yes, we should enjoy our youth, and have fun, but…BUT…the lucky few who can understand that those teenage years are like gold, cementing your bright future, won’t live to regret it. Don’t let a few nights of party, or a group of friends tear cracks into your life. What do I mean by that?
If you already have a skill that you have required, because your parents dream for you and push you, or even better, you have managed to find that for yourself, then GO FOR IT. Don’t let your social life distract you from doing something extraordinary, and building a solid skill for life.
If you don’t already have a skill in mind then don’t worry. You can apply discipline in every day task, learn new things, and understand the importance of routine and hard work. So when you figure out your aim in life, you already have the tools to shoot the bulls eye.
If you are someone with tons of social life, the popular in school, the moth to attention, then try to open your eyes a bit wider and look at the bigger picture. One day, that circle will shrink, and there is not much nectar left to make you flourish. Enjoy it, you can use your social skills very well later in life, but at the same time find your ‘thing’, without being distracted by the glory of high school ‘fame’.
If you don’t boost about millions of friends and often feel like there is something wrong with you, because you don’t have a herd around you, then maybe that’s ok. Focus on yourself. A true friend will be proud of your efforts, and you will make new friends who share the same dedication and discipline to become someone. And if you’re alone on that road, then so be it. You are never truly alone, if you have a goal for your life, a dedication to yourself.
It sucks that we have to grow up to realize these things, but luckily for you, I already carry a bag of regrets from my teenage years, and hopefully that will lighten the bag for some of you. Have fun, enjoy the youth, but don’t waste it. It won’t last forever, and so won’t most of your friendships. Self-worth, and a true skill will!
